


Time and Fallen Leaves

by bobbinindaeyo



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-11-14 14:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18054131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbinindaeyo/pseuds/bobbinindaeyo
Summary: Through time... and fallen leaves.





	1. Time and Fallen Leaves

Through time... and fallen leaves.


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will be in Hanbin’s POV. 💕

__I was walking freely in the school grounds when I saw the swimming team. I stopped in my tracks, and instantly looked for him, Bobby, as he laughed at the joke of one of his teammates.

“ _I’m_ _so_ _glad_   _to see_ _that_ _his_ _laughter’s_ _back_ ” I thought to myself, and smiled weakly.

He stopped laughing the moment he met my eyes. He smiled at me. It felt like I entered a trance, and time stood still. It’s the first time he smiled at me... after that happened.

“President Kim!” I shook my head, trying to bring myself to reality. Cleo, our School Body’s Secretary, called me. She’s also Bobby’s sister. She saw Bobby and made a face when he made a face at her, too.

She went near me, “Oh, you saw him?” She asked, looking so confused. “You should’ve said hi.” She said, I can feel her stare.

“No need.” I looked at the ground. Memories came flashing in my head again. “Besides, what for? I’m his past. And you know... that exes can’t be friends. The past should always stay in the past.” I said, trying to shrug off some unknown feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m baaack. 💕


	3. Coffee Date

**1**

**Coffee Date**

 

“Hello! Good morning!” I smiled brightly at them, masking my nervousness, “I am Kim Hanbin, and I am running for the position of President. If you’ll vote for me, and the rest of us, we will make sure that we will listen to each and every concern, and try to provide a solution in the best way that we can” I said. Every school year, the entire school population will vote for the Student Body Organization, and today’s our first day of campaign. It’s my first time to run for the said position, so I’m so nervous.

“You don’t have any programs to present? Or any projects?” The guy at the corner of the room spoke, interrupting us. “How can we even vote for you?” I looked at the guy. He smirked.

“The reason why we didn’t present any programs nor projects is because we do not want to give any false hopes. It is our goal to reach out to each and every students, in the most human way. We’ll be getting feedbacks, every month, and from there, we’ll focus on the problems that needs to be prioritized.” I retorted. He smirked again at me, trying to test my patience. Ugh, the nerve of this guy!

“Not convincing.” He put his fingers on his chin, pretending that he’s thinking. “Hmm... how about this, wait for me after class, and talk about this over a short coffee date?” The guy wriggled his eyebrows, and the entire class teased him.

“That was so smooth, Bobby!” The guys teased him. I felt my face heating up. I wasn’t able to answer him, and had to walk out of the class to save myself from further embarassment.

It was the first time that I encountered a guy as airheaded as him. How can you ask someone you just met out? Ugh!

Our campaign continued, and after that, we went to the office allotted for us.

“Hanbin, I think that swimmer kinda likes you” _Huh?_   _Swimmer? He’s_   _a_   _swimmer?_ Jinhwan, our Vice President, told me. “That’s Cleo’s brother, am I right?” He asked.

“Well, I don’t know him, hyung. And too bad, Cleo’s got a brother like that.” I said, trying not to roll my eyes, but failed. “And no, hyung, he doesn’t like me. It’s my first time to see him!” I explained, and felt my face heated up again when I remembered our encounter earlier. Jinhwan kept on bugging me about it, until Cleo walked in.

“President Kim! Someone’s outside, looking for you.” Cleo said. I went out, wondering who it was.. but before I went outside, I heard Cleo saying “hm, that’s why he’s been asking me where I am” then she sat down, and did some things.

I went out, and saw him looking at his phone while waiting for me. I faked a cough, and he looked at me.

“Hey.” He smiled. Hm, I must admit, his smile’s a little cute. How his eyes curve into a semi-moon is cute.

“Hey, yourself.” I said, dismissing the thoughts earlier. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t I tell you earlier? I asked you out for a coffee date, right?” He laughed. He loves to laugh, huh?

“I can’t remember saying yes” I said, trying to keep my face as calm as I can, “and why would I go out on a date with you? I don’t even know you” Shock’s written all over his face. He looked so offended, as if I should know him. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, I don’t.

“Well, I can’t expect everyone to know me” he said to himself, and cleared his throat, and offered his hand. “Hi, I’m Kim Jiwon, others call me Bobby, but I want you to call me Jiwon.” He smiled again. “As you may or may not know, I’m Cleo’s older brother. I’m also an athlete, I swim, and I am the president of the athlete’s club here in our school.” He introduced himself.

“Okay.” I said, not minding his hand. “But you still don’t know me.” I smiled, teasing him.

“I’m Kim Hanb—“

“Kim Hanbin. Born in October 22, 1996. Second year highschool. You were a part of the music club, but decided to withdraw from the club when the kids asked you to run for Presidency.” He said, as if he was reciting the autobiography of someone person that he’s been with all his life.

“You sound so creepy. Are you a stalker?” I asked, moving away from him.

“Nah” he said cooly. “I just told you.. I’m Cleo’s brother. And the way he tell stories about you.. it seems like she’s selling you” he laughed when he remembered something.

“Anyways, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he smiled again “so, can we go out now? Now, that you already know me?”

“No.” I said, and turned my back on him.

“Ugh.” He groaned. “Please, Hanbin. One date.” He made me turn again, and held my hand.

“I said, no.” I said again, with conviction.

“I won’t stop until you say yes.” He said, with conviction as well.

True enough. I would always see Jiwon after class hours, waiting for me outside. He’s been doing this for 3 straight days, and it’s already annoying me.

“Hanbin... please? One date.”

“Why?” I asked.

“What ‘why?’”

“Why are you so pushy in asking me out??”

“Are you bored? Huh?” I already sound so pissed, because I am.

“No.” He calmly answered.

“A bet, perhaps?” I looked at him, narrowing my eyes.

“No!”

“Then why?”

“Can’t I just ask you out for a date?” He said, quite frustrated.

“Just one date and it’s over?”

“One date... and it’s over.” He said.

“O...kay.” I said, with hesitation.

“Okay?” His eyes lit.

“Yes.” I nodded, and glanced at my watch, “I’m out and will be free after the campaign, which is around 6:30.”

“Alright. I’ll wait for you outside.” He smiled, and left.

I went back inside, and saw Jinhwan, and Yunhyeong looking at me... and smirking.

“What was that?” Yunhyeong teased me, while poking my sides.

“Hyung!” I slapped his hand while smiling, “Well...” they both looked in anticipation.

“Well?” Jinhwan asked.

“He asked me out again.. and I said yes.” I smiled, then shrugged. They both shrieked.

“Why?” I said again, now laughing.

“Bobby’s a good catch, you know.” They wriggled their eyebrows.

“And so?” I said, “it’s just one date, and it’s over.” Then left them.

I was busy doing some stuff, when someone entered the room.

“Hyung! Hyung!” Donghyuk said, still panting. I went near him.

“Why?” I tapped his back. “What happened?”

“Someone broke our election materials!” He said, teary eyed. “I went to the storage room to get the materials, and when I went there, the flyers are all torn.”

Damn. We only have two days left, and this happened.

“We suspect that it’s the Liberal’s doing.” This election, there are two parties that are competing for the positions. The Liberal, and the Democrats. For years, the Liberal party always win, but some students are not happy with the way they rule. _Damn_ , _they’re_ _really_ _this_ _dirty_.

I glanced at my watch. 4:30. I still have time.

“I’m gonna ask a favor from Junhoe.. since they are in charge of printing. I’ll be back.” Then I went to the printing press’ office.

I’m so glad that Junhoe’s my friend, and he agreed to help us in reprinting those materials. But since we had to reprint a thousand copies of those, had to cut the papers, and store them, it took us three hours to finish.

“Junhoe. Thank you so much!” I held his hand. “What would I do without you?” He laughed.

“It’s no bother, hyung.” He checked his watch. “It’s already late. Let’s go home together.” He said, then picked his bag.

“Alright. I’ll get my things first.” Then we went to the office. On our way there, Junhoe’s making some silly jokes, and even though they weren’t that funny, I still laughed.

My attention’s all on Junhoe, when he suddenly stopped walking, and stared at something — or someone. I also stopped, and looked at that certain someone Junhoe’s looking at.. when I saw Bobby, and Chanwoo outside the office.

Bobby’s leaning on the wall, then he saw us laughing. He looked at me coldly then my smile disappered. Shit. I forgot about the date.

“Let’s go, Chanwoo.” He looked at him, “Maybe Cleo already left.” Then he passed us, without even glancing. Chanwoo looked so disappointed... shaking his head as he follow Bobby.


	4. Author’s Note

Hello! 

Thank you so, so much for showing interest in this story.

I’ve been writing since I was young, but adulting hit me, so I had to focus on some things for a while. So, I was on hiatus for 5 years? I think. Hahaha. Writing is my only hobby, since I have a very, very wide imagination and loud mind.

I know that I am lacking, and I will appreciate if you’ll leave some comments, may it be constructive, or pure criticism. It’s okay, I wouldn’t mind. In that way, I’ll know where I’m lacking, and I’ll try to improve.

I have a lot of stories saved on my drafts (and a lot of ideas in my mind 😂), and hopefully, I’ll be able to publish those. 

I don’t really know how long this story will be. Probably 15-20 chapters? I still don’t know.

As for the updates, I’ll do my very best to update as often as I can. There are days were I experience writer’s block, so yeah.

This a/n is longer than my usual chapter, I know, but I’m really trying to make my chapters longer, without compromising the quality of the story.

I hope you’ll read the story until the end, and please don’t hate me. Hehehe 💕💕💕


	5. Help

**2**

**Help**

 

I went to the school early the following day. I went directly to the printing office to pick up the flyers. And on my way back, someone accidentally bumped me. I was about to lash out, when I saw that it was Chanwoo.

“Aish.” I sighed, then picked up the flyers. Chanwoo just stared at me. “Are you gonna help me, or what?!” Then he moved, and helped me pick up the papers.

“Have you talked to Bobby hyung?” I stared at him.

“No. Not yet.” He looked at me, “Sorry for standing him up yesterday. I know you were disappointed.”

“You should apologize to Bobby hyung.” He said, as we both stood up, and handed me the flyers, “it was him whom you ditched. Not me.” Then he left. I then went to the office to organize things and meet my officers to let them know the plans for the day.

“Good morning, Hanbin!” Jinhwan greeted. “How are you?”

“Good.” I timidly smiled at him.

“Are we going to give out flyers today?” He asked.

“Yes. I’ll try to ask help from Donghyuk later, to ask help from the theater club.”

“Alright.” He stared, “by the way, Hanbin.. I heard that Venice asked help from Bobby.”

“And so? I don’t know why do you have to inform me about that” I awkwardly laughed. I want to avoid talking about Bobby for now, I want to deal with him later. As for Venice, she is also running for Presidency. I understand why she want to ask help from Jiwon... maybe because he handles the entire athlete club, they can win by simply getting votes from them.

“Can we not ask for help from them instead?” He asked me, then looked at Cleo who just arrived.

“From who?” She asked, looking puzzled.

“Bobby.”

“Well, we can. From what I know, he declined Venice.” She looked at me, “And last night, he approached me, asking what help can he give us.” 

“I... can’t.. ask help from him.” _After_ _what_ _happened_ _last_ _night_ , I wanted to add... but I didn’t. Cleo and Jinhwan stared at me, waiting for me to spill some more.

“What.. happened?”

“Well.. you both know he asked me to go out.. right?” They nodded, “Because of what happened... I kind of ditched him. But it was unintentional! I swear!”

Cleo smiled, “Hanbin, don’t worry, he understand. I was told him what happened last night.” Then she went to look at the flyers. 

“Well, you and Junhoe did well in printing these.” She gathered some, and went near me, “Let’s go. Let’s convince oppa to help us.”

“But..”

“Do you want us to win, or not?” Yunhyeong butted in.

“I’m gonna ask help from Donghyuk. They’re the second largest club in the school.”

“Why ask help from him, when I’m here... and willing to help?” Jiwon entered, together with some athletes, and Cleo handed them the flyers.

“Jiwon...” He coldly stared at me, “Sorry.”

“Save it for later. Let’s go. Today’s gonna be a long day.” Then he handed some to Chanwoo, who just smiled at me. “Thank Chanwoo later.” Then they both head out.

We went to the school grounds, and gave out flyers to the students.

“Hello. Please vote for us!” I said, while handing out the flyers and smiling at everyone.

“We’ll definitely vote for you!” Some girls said, then accepted the flyer that I gave them.

“Thank you!!” then they left.

“Hanbin..” Jiwon called me, “Water?”

“Thank you.” I smiled at him.

“It’s nothing.” Then he proceeded in handing out some flyers.

After we run out of flyers, we went to the office, and gathered the athletes that helped us, and of course, my officers.

“Thank you again for helping us out. It’s really a big help!” I started, while they look at me.

“Like I said, thank Chanwoo.” Jiwon laughed, as if he remembered something. “He said you looked so stressed that you were ready to fight him earlier when he accidentally bumped you.” They both laughed.

“Sorry!!” I looked at Chanwoo, “and thank you so much for helping us!”

“It’s not a big thing.” Chanwoo responded, showing his dimples, “I think a lot of us would agree if I’ll say that this is a lot better and easier than Bobby hyung giving us hard stunts, and giving us endless laps.” The swimming team laughed.

Then we proceeded with the meeting to discuss our agendas in the next days, until the end of the campaign period, and the athlete club promised that they will help us tomorrow, since it’s the last day.

Right after the meeting, most of the officers, and the athletes left the room. It was me, Jiwon, Jinhwan, Cleo and Yunhyeong who were left inside the office.

“Oppa!!!” Cleo hugged Bobby sideways. “Thank you so much for helping us.” Bobby playfully pushed her away.

“I did it for Hanbin,” he smirked at me, “not for you.” Then the three teased us. After a while, they left us alone, as if they intended to do it.

“Bobby...”

“Jiwon.” He smiled at me, then held my hand, and pulled me near him.

“Thank you again, and sorry for ditching you last night.”

“It’s okay. Cleo told me that Venice’s party tried to sabotage your campaign.” We were just looking at the things in front of us. Suddenly, we both became silent. The comfortable kind of silence.

“Wow. I never thought that silence can be this comfortable.” He laughed. Is he a mind reader? I smiled at him.

“Jiwon,” he looked at me. “To make up for what I did last night.. and for helping us.. want to go to the nearest coffee shop?” He looked surprised.

“Are you sure?” I laughed, and nodded.

“Yes. Why?”

“I told you it’s nothing,” then he laughed. “But if you insist!” Then he held me, and we both went outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda cringed while I was typing the word “Oppa” 😂😂😂😂


	6. Victory

**3**

**Victory**

 

“Welcome to Qanat Quartier! How can I —“ the girl in the cashier stopped when she saw the both of us.

“Anj?” Jiwon looked at her. The girl smiled. “You’re working here?”

“Well, obviously.” Then she smirked at him, and looked at me, “Hi!” She greeted me, and suddenly her eyes got bigger, shocked of what she’s seeing in front of her. “You must be Hanbin. Jiwon’s telling a lot of stories about you.” Jiwon. I thought I’m the only one who calls him that.

“Ah... yes.”

“By the way, I’m Anj. Jiwon’s ex-girlfriend.” She said, extending her arm, waiting for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled at her, and accepted her handshake.

“What are your orders?” She made a face at Jiwon, then smiled at me again, “This one’s on me.”

“Mine’s Cafe Latte.” Jiwon said, then looked at me, “how bout you, Hanbin?”

“Just one Strawberry Milkshake, please.”

“You love strawberries, too?” Anj exclaimed. I simply nodded. “Alright. Please take a seat for now. Your drinks will be there in a moment.”

I suddenly felt awkward. I’m in a cafe, with Jiwon and his ex-girlfriend, who happened to love strawberries, too. I hope this is the last time that we’ll both love the same stuff. _This_ _doesn’t_ _sound_ _right_.

“Hey.” Jiwon held my hand, I spaced out.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” I silently said, then glanced at the window near me. Why are you even jealous, huh, Kim Hanbin?

“By the way..” Jiwon started. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Nah. It was you who came with me.” We looked at each other, and we both laughed.

“Right.” He winked, and stared at me again.

“Why?”

“Nothing. This just feels so surreal.” He smiled softly. “You... and me. Together in this cafe.”

“Stop it.” I laughed. “You’re making me feel like you’ve been waiting for this.”

“What if I am?”

“Jiwon...”

“Cafe Latte and Strawberry Milkshake for Hanbin and Jiwon!” The barista called us. Jiwon stood up to get the orders, then went back to our table immediately.

“Here you go” he gave me my milkshake. I took a sip, and smiled upon tasting the strawberries.

“You love it?” I nodded. He smiled, and pinched my cheeks. “You’re so cute, Hanbin!” I rolled my eyes, and playfully slapped his hand.

Silence once enveloped us, as we were busy with our drinks. After a while, Jiwon looked at me, and stared at my glass that is now empty.

“Shall we go?” I looked at him, puzzled. He chuckled softly, “I want to walk you home.”

“Okay.” I smiled at him.

“So, what are your plans for tomorrow?” He asked, as we walk.

“I’ll rest. We’ve been campaigning non-stop for days, and I think it’s enough. If the students want us to win, we will win.”

“I see.” He said, and got silent again.

I’ve known Jiwon for days, and I’ve noticed that he’s so talkative whenever he’s with other guys, but he acts like a shy boy when he’s with me. _Am_ _I that boring?_

“Want to hang out with us tomorrow?” He asked, as he faced me. Hesitation’s written on his face.

“Why?”

“Hmm, nothing.” He laughed awkwardly, then started to walk again. We both got silent as we reached my home.

“Here’s our home.” I smiled, “thank you for walking me home.” I turned my back on him, and was about to open our gate when Jiwon called me.

“Hanbin.” I turned to look at him.

“Can we go out.. again.. on a normal basis?”

“Huh? Why?”

“I want to know you more.” He said. He’s scratching the back of his ear, and his face started to turn red.

“You can know me more without us going out everyday.” Am I missing something here?

“But I want to.”

“Why?” I said, seriousness is evident on my voice.

“Jiwon. Look at me.” He did. “Give me a reason why.”

“Because..” he took a deep sigh. “Damn. You’re so smart, but why are you so dense?”

“Huh?”

“I like you.”

“You.. like me?” He nodded.

“But you’ve just met me.”

“I’ve known you since last year. I started to gain interest in you when Cleo started to tell some stories about you.”

“But why didn’t you approach me?”

“You intimidated me. I got scared.” I chuckled.

“It’s okay. I hear that a lot.” I stopped laughing and looked at him.

“Jiwon, like what I said, you can know me without us going out on dates.”

“But...”

“Chill, Jiwon!” I laughed. “I’m just here. You’ll see me in the school. You can visit me here during your free time. Let’s take things slow. I’m not going anywhere.”

 _I_ _lied_. I think I lied, and it hurts me that I lied at him.

I stopped reminiscing. I wish I can turn back time.. back to the days where Jiwon and I were happy. I wish. But seeing him happy with Anj, his girlfriend, I have no regrets.

“Oh, Hanbin is back? It’s been two years.” I heard some students say, as they passed by me.

“Hanbin, calm down. I know for sure that you’ll win.” Jiwon said, trying to calm me since the kids said that they already started counting the votes. I just smiled at him, and started to walk back and forth.

“Hyung!” Chanwoo called Jiwon. “Can you stop him from walking back and forth? I’m getting dizzy!” He whined.

Jiwon laughed, and looked at me. He held my hand, and made me sit beside him. “Chill, Hanbin. You’ll win. I’m sure.” He said, then held my hand again. He smiled, assuring me.

Minutes have passed, and we’re still waiting for some news.

“Hanbin! Hanbin!” Junhoe entered the room, catching his breath. It looked like he ran so fast just to get here on time.

“Why?” Damn. Junhoe’s making me nervous.

“You won!” He smiled at me brightly. “The entire party won! It was a landslide victory!” I stood up, and looked at Jiwon who’s beside me.

“Jiwon!” I held him, “We won!” He stared at me, laughing, as he held me in his arms.

“I know you’ll win.” He embraced me, and lifted me. I felt him kissed my temple.

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek.

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek again. “Thank you!” And hugged him tighter. I suddenly heard Chanwoo and his teammates laugh. It looks like they were teasing someone.

“It looks like Bobby hyung won, and not you, Hanbin.” Then they laughed again. I released Jiwon from the hug, then looked at his face, that’s now bright red. I was about to ask him when Cleo, Jinhwan, Yunhyeong and the rest of our student council hugged me.

“Hanbin!! All of our hardwork has paid off!!” Cleo said, and hugged me.

“Yes. Thank you, team!” They all smiled at me.

“Well deserved, Hanbin.” Jinhwan smiled at me. “But, hey, I saw what you did to Bobby!!” He teased me.

Huh? What did I do? I looked at him puzzled.

“You really have to kiss him, huh?”

“Huh? I did?” I looked at him, surprised.

Wow, that must be the reason why Jiwon’s face is still bright red, as Chanwoo continued to tease him.


	7. Ferris Wheel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest update by far. *wipes imaginary sweat*
> 
> And I swear, I almost cried while typing the last part of the update.

**4**

**Ferris** **Wheel**

 

“President Kim, tonight’s our Victory Party. Don’t forget!” Cleo said, as she left the office.

It’s been a week since the elections, and our classes have resumed as well. It is a yearly tradition to have a Victory Party after a successful election, but this year’s special — well, may be because finally, the Democrats won.

After making sure that everything’s organized, I decided to leave our office, and attend one last class before going home.

I was on my way to our classroom when I heard some students talking about Jiwon.

Jiwon and I have decided to slow things down. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere, that’s why there’s no need to rush.

Week after the elections, he would usually walk me to my next class, or I would wait for him after his swimming training, and he’ll walk me home. It has been our routine since then, and I must say, I’m starting to get used to it.

“Jiwon and Anj’s so cute together! Did you see them in front of the gym? I thought that they broke up, and Jiwon’s with Hanbin, but I guess not.” One of the students said, while walking. Jiwon.. is with Anj? I know that Anj’s studying here, but Jiwon... with Anj is a different story.

I suddenly found myself in front of our gymnasium, and I saw them.. sitting and laughing on one of the benches.

I saw Jiwon laugh, I saw him smile.. but the way he laughed and smiled at Anj is different. _Did_ _I_ _make_ _him laugh? Did I even made him smile? Am I even the reason behind the happiness that’s evident in Jiwon’s eyes?_

“Yah!” Someone intentionally bumped my shoulder. “Hanbin! What are you doing here?” Yunhyeong said.

“Huh?” I stared blankly at him.

“As the President, you are not setting a good example!” Yunhyeong laughed at me, and held my hand so I can walk with him.

“What do you mean?”

“Hanbin, if you didn’t know, we’re already five minutes late in our class.” Shoot. I was on my way to our class when I heard those students. _How stupid, Hanbin._

Yunhyeong kept on telling some stories while we’re heading back to our classroom, but none of those made sense to me. All I can remember is Jiwon.. and Anj.. laughing.

I’m not the type of person who easily gets attached. I’m not the type of person who assumes. But Jiwon.. made me believe that he likes me. And the days that we were together, he treated me like I’m the most important person in the school.

I got attached. But did I assume that he really like me?

“Okay, class dismissed!” Our teacher said, as our classmates cheered.

“Don’t forget to attent the Victory Party tonight, okay? Let’s support Mr. Kim and the rest of the council.” She winked at me.

“From what I heard, there will be some carnival games, and they’ll be setting up a Ferris Wheel and will invite a band to serenade us. Is that right, Hanbin?”

“Yes. We prepared a lot, so we hope you guys can come.” I said, and smiled at everyone. They agreed, and left the room one by one.

“Hanbin..” Yunhyeong called me, “You’re not your usual self today. Did something happen?”

“Nothing, hyung.” I shook my head, and stood up as I gathered my things.

“Alright. If you say so.” He tapped my shoulder, and left me alone.

I tried to clear my thoughts and took a deep breathe. _Hanbin_ , _if_ _they’re_ _really_ _back_ _together_.. _it’s_ _okay_. _Maybe_ _Jiwon’s_ _just_ _bored_. _Maybe_ _he_ _is_. I said, as I tried to convince myself.

I did not see Jiwon, or even Anj after that scene, which made me more anxious. I even had to remind myself that I should focus.

I head back home, and had myself prepare for the party. It took me an hour, and the moment I stepped out, I looked around.. trying to look for someone.. familiar. But I did not see him.

No Jiwon outside. Hanbin, stop acting as if you and Jiwon agreed that he’ll fetch you. That you’ll attend together. Stop acting as if it’s his responsibility to fetch you everyday.

The moment I arrived the school, the party’s already started.

“Hello, Hanbin!” Jinhwan called me, and held my hand. “Let’s play!”

“Hyung.. I’m not in the mood. Sorry.”

“Tch.” He glared at me, “Let’s go! Stop spoiling the mood. We worked hard for this, so we should enjoy this, right?”

“Alright.” Then we went to some claw machines. Yunhyeong and Donghyuk’s already there by the time we arrived.

“Hyung!” Donghyuk said, while laughing at Yunhyeong.

“Why?” I smiled at him.

“Yunhyeong hyung is so stupid” Donghyuk said, then Yunhyeong glared at him, “I mean funny.” He sticked his tongue out and made a peace sign at Yunhyeong.

“Why? Why?” Jinhwan asked, curious of what’s going on.

“He already spent a lot of money to buy tokens, and he can’t even manage to get one of these stuffed toys.” He teased Yunhyeong again, “and now, he’s down to one token!” We both laughed.

“Stop teasing Yunhyeong hyung!” I told him, “but hyung, if I were you, I would just forget it and enjoy the other games.”

“Aish! Forget it!” He said, frustrated and walked out. Donghyuk laughed again, and followed after him.

“By the way, Hanbin.. where’s Jiwon?” Jinhwan asked.

“I don’t know, hyung. We didn’t even talk today.”

“You didn’t see him tonight?”

“No.” I shrugged, and tried to get a stuffed toy from the machine. I got one, and gave it to Jinhwan.

“Huh, he didn’t show up in front of you? I saw him with Anj and the band earlier.” Anj. He’s with her again. Then maybe... they really got back together.

“The band? He’s gonna perform?” I asked, trying to ignore what he said.

“You don’t know?” Jinhwan looked at me, shocked.

“Hyung, if I know, would I even ask?” I said, then rolled my eyes.

“Yes. He’s a part of the band.” He laughed, “speaking of which, let’s go! They’ll be performing in front of the Ferris Wheel. They must be starting by now.” He said, and pulled my hand again so I can come with him.

“As if I have a choice.” I mumbled. And true enough, the moment we arrived, the band’s starting to warm their instruments up in front of the Ferris Wheel. Students are also in front of the stage, which made us stand in the middle.

“Good evening, schoolmates!” The crowd roared upon hearing Jiwon’s voice.

“Congratulations again to our Democrats, led by Mr. Kim Hanbin.” He saw us, then winked at me. Jinhwan probably saw that because he playfully elbowed me, and faked a cough.

“Alright, let’s start the session!” Jiwon declared, and started to sing some ballad songs, and some upbeat songs.

The crowd went wild when he went down the stage, and interacted with them.

They played a few more songs when Jiwon announced that it’s gonna be their last song.

“I really spared this last song for this person that’s very, very special to me.” The crowd once again cheered. Some said ‘aww’, maybe because it’s their last song.

“I missed him today because of this. I tried not to show up to him today because of this surprise.” Him. He said him. My heart beat so fast. _Hanbin_ , _don’t_ _assume_ _unless_ _otherwise_ _stated_. I said, trying to calm my heart.

“I’m so proud of you, I hope you know that.” He said as the band started to play the song.

 

_I can’t ever have you, no no_

_You’re perfect and I’m garbage, u know_

_You don’t even drink_

_We have no way of getting close_

 

He just stared at me, while singing the song. I felt like time stopped, and all I can see is him.

 

_But I keep looking at you_

_It’s like I’m Captain Hook and you’re Wendy, staying next to Peter Pan_

_I’ll buy you an alligator bag_

_But you’re innocent and you say you only want an eco tote bag_

 

 _Hanbin_ , _please_ _calm_ _down_. I repeatedly told myself. I felt like I’m tearing up.

 

 _You’re_ _like_ _an_ _alien_

 _Your_ _smile_ _is_ _so_ _beautiful_

 _Take_ _me_ _too_ , _to_ _the_ _place_ _you_ _live_

 _Young_ _boy_ , _you’re_ _such_ _a_ _warm_ _person_

 

He continued to sing, and smiled at me.

 

_You’re so pretty, like a gem_

_But you don’t act crazy,_

_I’m confused_

_Understand my language_

_The way to express you is that_

_You’re an alien, an alien_

_You’re like an alien_

_You make it hard for me to approach you_

_Because once the tainted me approaches you_

_I’m afraid you’ll get ruined_

_I don’t wanna love u_

_But I’m loving u right now_

 

Love. That word.

He suddenly stopped singing, and looked at me again, as if looking in my eyes is not, and will never be enough.

“I promised you, Hanbin.. that we will take things slow.” He said, his voice is kind of hoarse.

“But I really want to know you more, and I want to be with you every... single... day.” The crowd went silent. I can feel some eyes looking at me.

“Kim Hanbin, I just want to let you know how much you mean to me.” He continued, “I love you. I really do.”

“Can you date me.. and only me?”

I felt my tears flowing. I’m starting to catch feelings for this guy in front of me, and I want to date him, too.

I was about to say yes, when suddenly, I remembered him laughing with Anj earlier. Suddenly, I felt that pain again.. and became unsure again.

I felt my mouth dry, and as I looked around, I saw everyone, including Jiwon waiting for my response. I took a step back, and tried to turn around, to turn my back and run away from this perfect view — the ferris wheel, the festive vibes, the expecting crowd... and from Jiwon.

Jiwon, I like you, too.. but sorry, my insecurity’s greater than what I feel for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that I used: Alien by Bobby
> 
> (I kind of selected a song sung by Jiwon that will match the scene... I originally wanted to use Tendae, or I love you, but I thought that Alien’s the best song to use)


	8. Still

**5**

**Still**

 

 _I_ _don’t_ _wanna_ _love_ _u_ , _but_ _I’m_ _loving_ _u_ _right_ _now_

The song that he sang keeps on ringing in my head. After I turned my back, I ran.

Ran away from him, from them, from myself... and from my feelings. I kept on running until my feet got tired, and found myself sitting on the sidewalk.

I never knew that liking someone can be this complicated. I sighed, and silently laughed as I wiped my tears away.

If I am a different person, I would probably be happy right now... because the guy that I like, likes me back.

And that’s exactly the problem. Jiwon keeps on telling me that he likes me. He loves me. But he can’t assure me that he mean it.

“What are you doing here?” I heard a voice, as he sat beside me.

“Hyung.. I messed things up, didn’t I?”

“Hanbin..” Jinhwan said.

“Things could’ve been easy. I like him, he loves me. End of story, right?” I laughed again, as new tears starts to form in my eyes.

“But life isn’t easy. I know this is your first time to fall in love, and you have a certain standard.” He paused, “But Hanbin, that is just your expectation. This is reality. What’s stopping you?”

“Me.” I smiled at him, and stared at the stars. “My jealousy.. my insecurities.” I stopped, and took a deep sigh, “do you know that I’m already starting to have feelings for him?”

“I know, Hanbin. It doesn’t take a genius to know that you like him, too.” He smiled weakly.

“I’m beginning to like him that it starts to scare me.” Tears fell again. Jinhwan is right. I have a certain standard in mind, and what I have is ideal. I thought that once you like, or love someone.. it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I forgot that in reality, there are storms. And if you’re not that strong enough, that storm can eat you alive. And that’s what’s happening to me right now.

To say that I am terrified is just an understatement. I am more than terrified, and this hurts.

Jinhwan was about to say something when someone spoke, “Why?” I froze, and tried to look for the owner of that voice. It’s him. Jinhwan stood up, and looked at Jiwon and me.

“Talk things over, okay?” He said, and stared at his watch. “I’m going home.”

I felt Jiwon’s presence beside me, he sat near me, but unconsciously, I moved a little bit away from him. I only noticed, when Jiwon chuckled bitterly.

“You dislike me that much, huh?” He mumbled.

“Jiwon..”

“Hanbin.. you said you like me, too. But what’s going on? What’s stopping you? What’s scaring you?”

“I’m not going to deny, Jiwon..” i sighed, “yes, I’m starting to like you. Not as the swimmer.. the president of the athlete’s club.. but as Jiwon. And it scares me. So much.”

“Hanbin.. am I not worth the risk?”

“You are.. believe me you are. But —“

“But what?” He said, “You’re not a risktaker? You’re not ready yet? What?” Every single word that he said was said with emphasis.

“I have flaws, too, Jiwon. I have insecurities, too. I get jealous, too.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I saw you with Anj —“

“You’re jealous with Anj?” He laughed, but with no humor, “Hanbin! You know that Anj’s just a friend!”

“She’s just your friend but she’s your ex, too!”

“I don’t get you.”

“Tell me, Jiwon. What will you feel if you see me laughing with some other guy? Let’s say... Junhoe. How will you react if I’ll tell you I like you, but you’ll see me with Junhoe, laughing? If someone will tell you that I spent my entire day with Junhoe?”

“Hanbin, this is just a misunderstanding.” He said, as he shake his head. “Anj.. helped me with the surprise.”

“I am not a part of the band. It should’ve been Anj’s workmate in the cafe, but I asked for a favor from her to convince him not to attend the party. She convinced him to let me stand on the stage instead of him. She helped me, that’s why I was with her the entire day!”

“I don’t.. know what to say.”

“Maybe say thank you, and be with me. End of story.” He sighed, and stood up, “but it’s not easy, right? Because you’re Kim Hanbin.. and you love to mess things up.” Jiwon stared at me after that, and left me.

A part of me felt sorry. It should’ve been a surprise, and majority of the people are expecting for a good outcome, but I ruined it all. Call me stupid, because maybe I am.

After a few minutes, I decided to get up and go home. It has been an exhausting day. I just greeted mom and dad and went to my room.

Right after changing my clothes, I decided to check my facebook account before going to bed, and there, I saw it. With 5,500 likes, and 10,000 shares, a video of Jiwon’s surprise for me, with a caption “A perfect surprise, but a nightmare.”

I read some comments saying that they understand me, that I was pressured.. that’s why I left, and some comments praising Jiwon’s voice.

No, Jiwon did not pressure me. But like what he said, I’m Kim Hanbin.. and I fucking love to mess things up.

After reading some more, I decided to put my phone down, and was about to sleep when Mom knocked on my door.

“Hanbin, can you go down?” Mom looked exasperated, “Someone’s looking for you.” I glanced at my clock, it’s already 11:45 pm. Who could that be?

I grabbed my jacket, and went outside.

I tried to look around, and there... I saw him. Leaning on the nearest post light. The moment he saw me, he smiled warmly.

How can he smile at me after the pain that I caused him?

“Jiwon.. it’s already late. What are you doing here?” He tried to walk so he can get near me.. but something’s off. Is he drunk?

“Hanbin.” He said, as he looked at me, and stood in front of me. “By now, I know that everyone’s feasting on us. But I don’t care.”

“Jiwon, are you drunk?”

“They said alcohol can heal wounds.. can make you forget the pain, but why does this alcohol made me feel the pain more?” He said, as a tear fell from his eye. “Shit.” I went near him, but he stopped me.

“Jiwon, let’s talk tomorrow, okay? When you’re sober.”

“No. I want us to talk now. I may not be able to say it tomorrow.”

I fell silent, as he reached for my cheeks.

“How many times do I have to tell you, and make you feel that I love you, and only you?” He whispered as he swiped his thumb on my cheek. I did not respond, and let him speak.

“I hate how insecure and jealous you are, but at the same time, I still want it. It only proves that you like me, too.” He paused, trying to look me in the eye, “Do you know how many times you made me smile and laugh even without making an effort?” He held my hand, placed it above his chest.

“You may have rejected me tonight, but it won’t stop me from loving you. Because after all the pain that you have caused me, and will cause me in the future, my heart still, and will only want you.” He said, as he closed the space between us, and kissed me fully on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been on my drafts for two (?) weeks now, because I was planning on updating my stories all at once, but I failed 😂😂


	9. Try

**6**

**Try**

 

“Hey, good morning.” I said, smiling warmly at him. I’ve been awake for an hour now, and I just sat at the couch while staring at him, thinking what exactly happened last night.

After we talked, mom told me to let him sleep in my room since it’ll be dangerous for him to go home.

“Shit.” He said as he held his head, probably suffering a headache from a bad hungover. His eyes turned wide the moment he saw me.

“It wasn’t a dream.” He said to himself.

“Yeah. It wasn’t a dream.” I told him, and went near him. 

“How are you? Terrible hungover?” He nodded, and closed his eyes again. I fell silent, and observed him as he sleep.. when my mom entered the room.

“Hanbin, how is he?” She asked, and went near us.

“Hungover, mom.” I rolled my eyes, and looked at Jiwon again. “Did you wake him up?”

“No. He’s already awake. I guess?” She nodded, but did not leave the room. Probably waiting for Jiwon to move.

“Jiwon, wake up.” I said, tapping his side, “Let’s go downstairs and eat some breakfast.” He grunted, and opened his eyes, and almost panicked when he saw my mom in the room.

“Mrs. Lee!” He looked so shocked. “Good morning to you, too.. Hanbin’s friend.” Mom responded, and slightly smiled.

“Sorry for what happened last night.” Jiwon looked so apologetic, as he stand up, and fix the bed. “I really didn’t —“

“Let’s talk about that over breakfast.” Mom just warmly smiled at him. She went out of the room first, and I was about to follow her when Jiwon held my hand, stopping me from going out.

“Hanbin..” I looked at him, and he kinda looked hesistant. “If it wasn’t a dream.. then is it true.. that we.. uhm.. we” he said, as he stuttered, and his face turned red.

“Yes, Kim Jiwon. We kissed last night.” I said, and turned my back on him.. and felt my face turned red, too.

We then both went downstairs, and sat on the dining chairs, where Hanbyul, my little sister’s already sitting.

“Hanbin—“ she was about to say something when she saw Jiwon, “Oppa, who is he?” She queried. I looked at my mom, and my dad who’s also curious about Jiwon.

“Yes, Hanbin” Dad said, “who is this guy?” He raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uhm..” I hesistantly looked at Jiwon. “He’s Jiwon, my friend.”

“Really?” Mom raised her eyebrows as well, “a friend that visits our home, in the wee hours of the night.. drunk. Friend.” She eyed me suspiciously. Jiwon coughed, and introduced himself.

“Good morning, Mrs. Lee.. Mr. Kim.. and little angel” he warmly smiled at Hanbyul, to which Hanbyul returned the smile. “I’m Kim Jiwon, Hanbin’s... suitor. I’m really sorry for barging in last night.”

“What suitor?!” I can’t help but raise my voice.

“You may have rejected me last night, but I thought I made it clear last night? As far as I can remember, I told you that I won’t stop loving you.” He innocently said. Why does he have to be so.... ugh!

“Jiwon!” I eyed him, but he doesn’t seem to understand.

“You rejected him, Hanbin?” Mom asked. “Why? It seems to me that you like him, too.”

“Long story, Mom.” I said, then rolled my eyes at Jiwon. Mom did not want to drop the topic, but I just sighed, and eventually, with the silence, she gave up.

We ate our breakfast in peace right after that, and Jiwon went to my room to get his stuff, and left afterwards.

Weekend came, and Hanbyul and I decided to go to the mall.

“Oppa, let’s go there!” She said, pointing the fun house, as she run in excitement. I looked at her getting some tokens when I heard someone called me.

“Hanbin?” I turned to look at him.

“Hey, Jiwon.” I smiled, and looked at the guy beside him. “Ah, he’s Raon. My nephew.” (A/N let’s pretend that Raon’s around 4 or 5 years old in this story, shall we? 😂)

“Oppa! —“ Hanbyul called me, when she saw Jiwon with Raon, “Oh, hello!” She cheerfully waved at them. Jiwon smiled at her, and looked at Raon.

“Raon, uncle’s gonna go somewhere, okay? For now, go with Hanbyul noona.” He slightly pushed Raon, and focused his attention on Hanbyul.

“Byul, can I borrow your brother for a while?” He smiled, and Hanbyul nodded. “Play with Raon for now. We’ll be back after an hour. Stay here, okay?” The kids both nodded, and went inside.

“What now?” I asked Jiwon, while raising my eyebrows.

“Follow me.” He said, and walked ahead of me. We both stopped in front of a coffee shop inside the mall. We entered, ordered our drinks, and sat near a window.

“Let’s talk.” He seriously said. “We haven’t talked again since that night.” Well, he’s right. I kind of ignored him after breakfast despite him apologizing.

“About what?”

“Us.” He said breathily.

“Us? There’s no us, Jiwon. Just want to remind you.”

“But we kissed!” He insisted.

“If you only want to be in a relationship with me just because we kissed, then it’s not a good reason.” I said seriously, “besides, I can kiss anyone.” I said, trying to reason out. “I can kiss Junhoe, I can kiss Jinhwan hyung, I can kiss Yunhyeong hyung, and Donghyuk! Oh, even Chanwoo, too!” I responded, only to see him pissed.

“Try kissing them, Hanbin. Just try. Then you’ll see what I can do to them.” He smirked.

“Hey!” I said, sounding alarmed at his threat. “I’m just kidding.” I backed off, “but really, Jiwon? Using that to put me in a situation that I’ve been avoiding?!”

“You can’t avoid me anymore.” He said, quite frustrated. “The moment you kissed me back, you’re giving me the right over you.”

“What the heck?” He’s reasoning is just.. ugh! “It’s not like I took your virginity! Stop acting like I did!” I said, now pissed with what he’s saying.

“You let me in, Hanbin.” I let him.. what?!

“Jiwon, what’s with the rush? I already told you that —“

“That you’re not slipping away? You almost did!” He said. “If I did not go to your house that night, what do you think will happen? Nothing.. right?” He’s got a point. If he did not talk to me that night, I don’t know when will we talk again.

“All I’m asking from you is a chance..” he continued, “A chance to prove that ‘hey, Jiwon’s worth the risk.’, too. Because Hanbin, believe it or not, you are a risk that I want to gamble. That’s how I love you.” He said sincerely.

 _Hanbin_ , _Jiwon’s_ _already_ _there_. _Assuring_ _you_. _What’s_ _stopping_ _you_ , _again_?

“I’ll deal with your insecurities, and kiss your jealousy away. Just.. be with me.”

“Jiwon..”

“Please.” He reached for my hand, and tightly squeezed it.

“What if it won’t work?”

“I’ll make it work.”

“Jiwon..”

“Do you like me or not?” Frustration’s slowly showing on his face.

“I do.. but —“

“I no longer want to hear your buts.” Believe me, I no longer want to hear my buts, too.. Jiwon. “You said you like me?”

“But sometimes, liking someone’s not enough. You should also trust them.” It’s true. Love isn’t enough for a relationship to work.

“You don’t trust me?” I smiled weakly at him.

“I do.” Jiwon.. are you really worth the risk?

“Then what’s stopping you?” Anj. I want him to assure that he no longer want Anj.

“Why did you break up with Anj?” I tried to change out topic.. but am I really ready to hear his response?

He looked at me, trying to check what my reaction will be... and sighed. “We were young when we agreed to be in a relationship. We were both immature, and we kept on dragging each other down. We were each other’s poison.”

_Looking back, I hated that I got jealous of Anj.. when she was the same person who helped me. She saved me._

_“_ You no longer want her?” Come on, Jiwon. Assure me, and you’ll see.

“I know that I did not assure you enough. Anj is a part of my past. The past that I no longer want. She’s a good friend. Yes. But that’s that.” He can read right through me. People in the past told me that I’m like a diary, you need a code so you can read right through me. But with Jiwon.. he can see right through me.

“Hanbin. One last time, after this.. I’m gonna stop bugging you.” No. He can’t. “Be with me. Be my girlfriend.”

“Jiwon..”

“Hanb—“

“Yes.”

“I’m out of — what??”

“I said, yes. I’m gonna take the risk with you.” After all, he’s worth a try.. right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who didn’t know, here’s a fun fact: 
> 
> if you have noticed, Hanbin’s mom’s last name is Lee (not sure of what’s her real maiden name tho 😂), despite the fact that she’s married to Mr. Kim. 
> 
> It is because in South Korea, married woman are obliged to use their maiden name even though they are married. There’s no certain law stating that they should, but it’s kind of a custom in South Korea.
> 
> **if u would like to know further, I can insert a mini update after this, so I can further explain it (i mean this last name thingy). Let me know in the comments if u guys want!**
> 
> (PS. I’ll be very, very busy in the next days, weeks.. or months, so this may be my last update for now.. I’ll try to update whenever I have the time. ❤️)


End file.
